• • Kim Jong Un Assembles a Girl Band: Chairman Meow Responds With Challenge

    Posted on 11/12/2015 by | 2 comments

    “…I’m in command, hot damn, I got an all-girl band!” – Salt n’ Peppa

    In a move seems to directly challenge Chairman Meow and other world leaders, Kim Jong Un has assembled a  state-sponsored North Korean army girl band. In this newly released video, you can watch them playing toe-tapping propaganda favorites like “Let’s Support Our Supreme Commander With Arms:”

    Chairman Meow Responds to Kim Jong Un’s Army Girl Band With Challenge

    Dear “Supreme Leader,” you are not the first dictator to assemble a band. In fact, Chairman Meow has won many prestigious awards for producing the pleasing Holiday sounds of his own band; the “Rockcats” aka the original “Pussy Riot:”

    Kim Jong Un’s Moranbong Girl Band vs. Original Pussy Riot?

    kim jong un hairSo, Mr. Un, let us have a “battle of the bands,” as the Americans say. Then, we shall let the people decide whose band is truly supreme.

    Perhaps we should set the stakes high? As the devil once said, “I’ll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul ’cause I think (my cat band) is better than you…”

    Chairman Meow haz spoken…

    north_korean_girl_band

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    Posted on 26/11/2012 by | 2 comments

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  • 12 Tips for Writing Press Release Headlines: From Gossip Magazines!

    Posted on 10/02/2014 by | 2 comments

    Writing an awesome headline for a press release is crucial, or else your press release might not get read at all.

    So, you ask, who writes the best headlines for their articles. Hmmm… Is it those brilliant scientists who write for NASA, or maybe those eggheads from Harvard who publish fancy dissertations every year? No, how about the White House Press Secretary, because what he says is so important? You might be surprised at who is writing some great, catchy headlines.

    Write Headlines Like a Gossip Magazine

    Actually, it might just be the nameless copy writers who write headlines for gossip and entertainment magazines that you can’t help but notice in the supermarket. Why? They have about 3 seconds and a handful of words to get your attention above all the other advertising, magazines, and noise that surround them in the checkout lane.

    sample press release headline

    Sample headline ideas

    Check out these sample headlines:

    • 37 Summer Must-Haves Under $20
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    • Success Secrets from the FILTHY RICH
    • Gain Energy & Feel Hot: The Secret to Total Confidence!
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    Write a Similar Headline for Your Press Release

    press release headline sample

    sample press release headlines

    They grab your attention, and promise to deliver with specifics. In fact, many times they give you exact numbers to quantify what you’re going to get, while creating curiosity.

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    Want more magazine-inspired sample headlines for press releases? Check out the latest headlines on covers at magazines.com.

    Don’t let Readers say “no” to your Press Release Headline

    Don’t ask, “would you like a really great pair of shoes?” but instead ask, “which of these hot shoes do YOU need today?

    They are like fishing hooks dangling next to you in the supermarket, and millions of people can’t help biting. (Having Kate Upton or Tatum Channing on the cover doesn’t hurt either)

    After you write the body of your press release, rethink your headline after checking out the headlines and magazine covers above. Can you grab readers attention like they do?

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    Tips for How to Write an Awesome Press Release Headline

    Honorable Leader Chairman Meow brings you tips and resources to help you write and distribute great online press releases. We also give you an incentive to get started right away with money saving coupons and promotions.

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  • Kim Jong Un’s Defiant New Haircut: Chairman Meow Demands Sanctions

    Posted on 20/03/2014 by | 2 comments

    chairman meowMuch like the hard-working women in Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, there is also much rivalry among world leaders who desperately seek the admiration of the masses. Although Chairman Meow tries to remain humble, he admits that sometimes he gets swept into the competition.

    For example, when Vladimir Putin released masculine photos of himself riding a horse shirtless, Chairman Meow responded by uploading a video of himself wrestling, and then eating a 500 pound grizzly bear. (Video has since been removed from YouTube)

    vladimir putin shirtless

    Kim Jong Un: A Radical Haircut that defies the Laws of Physics

    switchblade comb

    One way to comb such hair

    It seems that Kim Jong Un has thrown down the gauntlet to world leaders everywhere by sporting a defiant, shocking new haircut.

    Surely the only way to shape a haircut like that is with a dangerous object; such as a large caliber bullet, harpoon blade, or maybe one of those menacing switchblade-combs?

    Kim Jong Un: Building a “Hairway to Heaven?”

    It appears that Mr. Un’s hair has achieved unprecedented trapezoidal order and perfection; stretching upward, possibly in an attempt to touch God himself. (How will Vladimir Putin compete with this?)

    Could he be using his hair as an instrument to speak directly to God, like his own personal Mt. Sinai?

    Also consider this: Ancient Korean folklore tells of artists making extensive preparations before creating a masterpiece. They were known to isolate themselves for days, during which time they made ritual offerings to God for guidance and artistic inspiration. Did Kim Jong Un’s barber go through similar preparations before cutting his hair?

    Does Kim Jong Un Use Hair Product? (Perhaps “Seoul Glo?”)

    Does Mr. Un use a pomade? Perhaps a gel with a military-grade holding strength, requiring enriched uranium? Would that mean that this new haircut is nuclear?

    I also wonder, What does Kim’s hair smell like? I would guess a pungent bouquet of sage, jasmine, and burning leather. Such a formidable scent would surely singe the nostrils, cause disorientation, and make the eyes of anyone who dares to approach him water profusely.

    Admittedly, I haz not seen such a bold hairstyle since Christopher “Kid” Reid of legendary musical duo “Kid n’ Play.” Or, perhaps the unstable trend-setting child-star Willow Smith?

    kim jong unhair style

    Can Sanctions Stop, or Even Contain His Hair?

    This is an uncompromising, audacious haircut that will not negotiate. However, as a freedom-loving cat that lives on American soil, Chairman Meow implores President Obama to impose sanctions on it. If we can not stop the terrorist-haircut itself, perhaps we can sanction resources such as glycerin, hydrogenated castor oil, and beeswax to North Korea that may be supporting it?

    Chairman Meow Reveals His Own Glorious New Haircut

    Well played, Mr. Un, Chairman Meow respects your audacity, and has accepted your challenge. I reveal to you now a preview of my own new power-haircut, shown here:

    crazy cat fur

    Yes, Mr. Kim Jong Un. No matter what challenge you present, Ever-Victorious Leader Chairman Meow will always defeat you…

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