• Kim Jong Un Assembles a Girl Band: Chairman Meow Responds With Challenge

    Posted on 11/12/2015 by | 2 comments

    “…I’m in command, hot damn, I got an all-girl band!” – Salt n’ Peppa

    In a move seems to directly challenge Chairman Meow and other world leaders, Kim Jong Un has assembled a  state-sponsored North Korean army girl band. In this newly released video, you can watch them playing toe-tapping propaganda favorites like “Let’s Support Our Supreme Commander With Arms:”

    Chairman Meow Responds to Kim Jong Un’s Army Girl Band With Challenge

    Dear “Supreme Leader,” you are not the first dictator to assemble a band. In fact, Chairman Meow has won many prestigious awards for producing the pleasing Holiday sounds of his own band; the “Rockcats” aka the original “Pussy Riot:”

    Kim Jong Un’s Moranbong Girl Band vs. Original Pussy Riot?

    kim jong un hairSo, Mr. Un, let us have a “battle of the bands,” as the Americans say. Then, we shall let the people decide whose band is truly supreme.

    Perhaps we should set the stakes high? As the devil once said, “I’ll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul ’cause I think (my cat band) is better than you…”

    Chairman Meow haz spoken…

    north_korean_girl_band

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  • Cats Aid In Brussels Lockdown; Fight Terrorism

    Posted on 24/11/2015 by | 1 comment

    stay calm tweet catBelgians Fight Terror With Lolcat Photos: Brussels, Belgium was put on lock-down under the highest level of terror alert this week. Humans were asked to stay indoors while anti-terrorism raids were carried out in Belgium, and asked not to tweet or share anything about the raids on social media.

    The concern was that terrorists might be tipped off to the raids based on the use of #BrusselsLockdown hashtag which might reveal the location of Belgian police.

    In response, residents of Belgium flooded the #BrusselsLockdown hashtag with photos of vigilant cats and cat memes in a unified effort to confuse terrorists.

    As you know, cats have been central in the global War on Terror from the beginning;  contributing surveillance as well as executing pinpoint attacks against jihadists.

    Here are a few of the recent tweets that show the united feline vigilance against terror in Brussels:

    cats brusselslockdown

    #BrusselsLockdown: Belgians Fight Terror With Cat Memes During #BrusselsLockdown – Time.com

    #brusselslockdown cats – NPR.org

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  • Chairman Meow Promises to Send Cat to Mars: Commissions T-Shirt Design

    Posted on 30/09/2015 by | 1 comment

    chairman meowUpon hearing that there is water on Mars, Great Leader Chairman Meow has quickly promised to send a cat there to search for fishes, issuing the following statement:

    “Since the Soviets sent a dog to space, we have been waiting for a good reason to respond by launching a kitteh into orbit. We haz waited many years, because space is generally cold and boring, and the food is bad. However, upon hearing that there is water on Mars, Chairman Meow believes that there may also be tasty fishes, and we must go eat them.”

    When asked how such an expedition would be funded, a Chairman Meow announced that he had commissioned a t-shirt design to fund the trip.

    “Chairman Meow does not know a lot about Capitalism, but I know that selling t-shirts to Capitalist Pigs should finance the cost of getting a kitteh to Mars so that they can search for new, exotic tasty kinds of fishes and bring them back so that Chairman Meow and other kittehs may eat them.”

    space cat t-shirt funny

    The t-shirt design, titled, “Believe,” has been posted on threadless.com where it may be printed if there is enough support.

    “Chairman Meow encourages you to buy one of these t-shirts to show ur Kitteh Patriotism.”

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  • Lenin Cat Professes Allegiance to Chairman Meow; Insults Kim Jong-Un

    Posted on 16/09/2015 by | 1 comment

    lenin cat communist

    chairman meowAP: Lenin Cat Declares Fondness for Chairman Meow

    Tensions with North Korea were strained further today, as Lenin Cat declared his allegiance to Chairman Meow, potentially shifting the balance of global power and unsettling already volatile financial markets.

    Many see Lenin Cat’s declaration of support for Chairman Meow as an insult to Communist North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un, whom Chairman Meow has condemned for years.

    Kim Jong Un Fires Back

    kim jong un hairIn response to Lenin Cat’s declaration, Kim Jong-Un positioned an extra 10,000 North Korean troops on the border with the South, and reportedly fired a large rocket into the South China sea; claiming that it killed “many delicious fishes, including salmon,” a favorite meal of the kitteh.

    He also claimed that the country is perfecting a large, nuclear-powered space laser pointer that can reach as far as North America; potentially rendering cats there helpless against it’s attraction.

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  • Yoda Cat Costumes for The Kitty: Cats Are Small & Wise Like Yoda

    Posted on 09/09/2015 by | 1 comment

    yoda cat funny

    Dress Your Own Wise Cat As Yoda w/ a Yoda Cat Costume and Ears

    Chairman Meow Says: How many times have you sat around the house saying, “My kitteh iz so wise… I should dress him like Yoda.” Well, because of recent advances in technology known as the “the inter-webs.” now you can:

    yoday cat star warsStar Wars Yoda Pet Costume


    Are Cat Yoda Costumes Approved By Chairman Meow?

    chairman meowYou see, much like Yoda, the kitty is wise like a small, furry Buddha.

    So, is it wrong to give your kitty a Yoda costume, so that they may look even more wise? I think not. Plus, your silly purchase of cat costume will inch Capitalism System one step closer to collapse.

    So, enjoy your Yoda cat costume, silly human. Take funny picture of your cat wearing it, and post on Facebook so that your insecure human friends may laugh at the noble kitty

    …but know that all the while the clock is ticking until the Glorious Kitty Revolution; after which, maybe the kitty will dress YOU In silly costume and take picture.

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    cat with yoda ears

    “Much to learn, you still have” – Yoda cat
    Buy cat yoda costume or ears above

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  • 16 Great Cat Name Ideas Inspired by NFL Players

    Posted on 07/09/2015 by | 2 comments

    chairman meow largeYou’ve brought home a furry bundle of joy to rule your home, but what do you name your new militant little friend? Like NFL players, cats are agile, dynamic, and independent. They can also be unpredictable, mischievous, and capable of bold action; therefore, they deserve a bold name.

    Here are some suggestions for cat names from current NFL team rosters:

    The best potential cat names in the NFL

    maurkice pouncey cat name idea

    There are many great names in the NFL that are worthy of giving to a cat, here a the favorites of Chairman Meow:

    • Maurkice Pouncey – C, Pittsburgh Steelers
      Chairman Meow believes this is the best cat name in the NFL. Enough said.
    • Frostee Rucker – DT, Arizona Cardinals
      Perfect for a white cat, or one with with a white face.
    • Captain Munnerlyn – KR, Minnesota Vikings
      A name that shows authority. Great for a born feline leader.
    • Bacarri Rambo, SS, Buffalo Bills
      Strong name for a cat skilled in survival, hunting, and guerrilla warfare.
    • Zoltan Mesko – P, Cincinatti Bengals
      If you lived through the 1980’s, you may remember Zoltan from the movie Big? Since cats appreciate irony, perhaps this would be good name for a very small kitty?
    • Richie Incognito, C, Dolphins
      Perfect name for black cat, or cat that enjoys hiding or sneaking around a lot.
    cat name idea frostee rucker

    Is that Frostee Rucker?

    More current NFL player / cat name ideas

    • Atari Bigby – DB, Seahawks
    • Beanie Wells – RB, Arizona Cardinals
    • Barkevious Mingo(once again; ironic) OLB, Cleveland Browns
    • Cadillac Williams – RB, Free Agent
    • Ziggy Hood – DT, Steelers
    • Nico Johnson – LB, Buffalo Bills

    Of course, these are just current NFL names approved by Great Leader Chairman Meow. There are some great historical NFL names as well, such as Jumbo Elliot, Dexter Manley, Bronko Nagurski, and Deacon Jones. Plus, every year the NFL welcomes talented young players with great cat-name potential, so don’t insult them with a boring, common name like, “Bella, Max, or Kitty.” 

    Chairman Meow haz spoken. Please share!

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