• Vistaprint Free Business Cards? 500 for $10 is Better

    Posted on 23/06/2014 by | 17 comments

    So, having tried out both their “free” and “500 for $10″ offers, I’m here to recommend the 500 for $10. which includes shipping. The extra couple of dollars can give you more design choices, and a better product. Here are both promotions, as well as my thoughts.


    Can you still get business cards for free from Vistaprint?

    free business card designs vistaprint

    free business cards design

    There was a time not too long ago that you would have a few good options online for free business cards. Let me rephrase that: “free” business cards. People still continue to Google “free business cards” about 60,000 times each month, but they get more ads than actual results.

    The top handful of discount printing companies including Vistaprint offered from between 50 and 250 for free, but as you know, there is no such thing as a free lunch in this world. These companies knew that offering business cards for free is a money-losing promotion, so there was always a catch of some sort. Most of the time companies would double the actual cost of shipping to recoup their money, while others, including VistaPrint, would try to up-sell you with a number of offers and add-ons before you could complete your purchase.

    No such thing as a free lunch… or business cards

    In fact, the gas station down the road from me offers “free coffee” all day long, so you get the idea. It’s a nice little gimmick to get people in the door, but that’s not how they keep the lights on, and it’s not the quality of coffee I’d bring home to my wife.

    Anyway, discount printing companies figure that having your email address was worth something, and that a decent number of people would want to add something like matching address labels to their order from which they could make a few bucks. However, I don’t think that they ever got too far ahead on the business card giveaway offers, because now VistaPrint is almost alone in that space.

    free business cards vistaprint2

    sample of their 45 free business card designs

    Please try the “250 for $10″ deal for business cards Instead!

    If you’ve ever gotten VistaPrint’s free business cards, you’ll notice a couple of things. First, you don’t have a lot of template design options. There are usually 45 on their site, to be exact. Although we’ll give them credit for turning out a pretty good “free” product, the second thing that you’ll notice is that, because they are not “premium,” the card stock is a little cheaper, and on the back of each card you get a printed message saying, “Business cards are free at VistaPrint.com.”

    Although, free business cards can still serve a purpose

    This might not matter if you’re intent is to simply use these as “mommy cards” amongst friends, or if you are addicted to dropping your business card into fish bowls at restaurants to try to win contests. However, if you use business cards as part of your personal or business marketing effort, you probably don’t want to be thought of as the guy with the cheap, free business cards.

    The difference in cost between 250 of their free business cards, and the 250 for $10 deal is only about 2 cents per card when you factor in shipping costs for the free ones. (In the current “250 for 10″ offer, shipping is included) Bottom line is that their premium ones are still cheap, and the savings aren’t enough for me to justify choosing a less desirable product.

    vistaprint free business cards sample

    Another sample of Vistaprint’s free business cards

    In any event, there are a number of design templates to choose from, allowing you to upload your own photo and customize with your own text.

    Vistaprint offers free business cards, but I’ll gladly pay for premium ones

    They have already phased out most of their free deals, and this is probably the only one that they still offer. I can’t personally recommend taking advantage of it though, as their “premium” ones only cost a couple of dollars more.

    free business cards

    free or premium business cards

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  • Buy Chairman Meow Army T-Shirts: Support the Kitty Revolution!

    Posted on 15/05/2015 by | 4 comments

    chairman meowChairman Meow is the self-proclaimed leader of the Kitty Revolution. He promotes a radical, yet peaceful ideology and envisions a future of cat world domination.

    The Ministry of Feline Propaganda has recently created a t-shirt design honoring Great Leader Chairman Meow; and the result is simply glorious:

    chairman meow t-shirts army

    There are only a limited number of these professionally screen-printed American Apparel t-shirts available! (only 25 in each size: S, M, L XL)

    chairman meow t shirt back

    small design on back

    About these glorious Chairman Meow T-Shirts:

    • American Apparel “fine jersey” t-shirts: made & printed in USA
    • “2001” style is unisex for men or women
    • 2-sided screen printed design (small star design on back, between shoulders)
    • 4.3 oz. 100% combed ring-spun cotton “army” color
    • May save you from working in the salt mines when cats take over the world
    • Small, Medium, Large, X-Large: $22 each


    Sizes:
    *Enter notes or size info for additional t-shirts here:


    *Additional t-shirts, please add $20 each. International shipping, add $4.


    American Apparel T-Shirt Sizing Chart:

    american apparel 2001 t shirt sizing chart

    chinese army women chairman meow t shirt

    Chairman Meow T-Shirt Commands Respect!

    chairman meow t shirt in bag

    your cat will enjoy crinkly bag

    *Please review t-shirt sizing carefully before purchase. Because Chairman Meow shuns Capitalism, he has little money, and can not afford to pay for returns due to sizing or individual fit of t-shirts.

    More About the Kitty Revolution & Chairman Meow.

    cat fall of rome

    Kitty just waits…

    Humans have screwed things up, and find themselves on an unsustainable course.

    Recent scientific data also confirms that climate change is lengthening the kitty breeding season; causing them to multiply at an even faster rate.

    Yes, comrades, over 80 million cats in the U.S. alone are just watching and waiting for the signal to topple mankind; instituting a new, kitty world order.

    Although all humans will be cat-servants in the future, those who have pledged their allegiance to the Kitty Revolution and Chairman Meow will be spared from the worst punishment, including working in the salt mines, catnip fields, and at the DMV.

    Show your support for the Kitty Revolution by wearing a Chairman Meow army t-shirt… before it’s too late.

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  • Toxoplasmosis: How Cat Poop Can Turn You Into a Crazy Cat Lady (or Gentleman)

    Posted on 18/08/2014 by | 3 comments

    chairman meowThere are many ways that a kitty can take control of humans, turning them into mere servants. Recently scientists have become wise to one of their sneakier methods; a parasite found in their poop called, Toxoplasma gondii.

    What is toxoplasma gondii?

    Toxoplasma gondii is a microbe commonly found in cat poop. If ingested, it causes toxoplasmosis; (aka t. gondii, or toxo) a disease that causes flu-like symptoms, especially dangerous to people with weakened immune systems. “Toxo” is the reason pregnant women are told to stay away from litter boxes.

    Scientists used to believe that people with strong immune systems quickly fought off toxo, and it just went dormant after being defeated. However, shocking recent evidence from scientists like Jaroslav Flegr suggest otherwise.

    Toxoplasma gondii – It’s All In Your Head

    It seems that scientists have vastly underestimated this organism, which may be affecting the behavior of millions of humans around the world by literally getting into their heads. In fact, the CDC estimates that some 60 million Americans are carrying the Toxoplasma parasite.

    Although few people have symptoms, it’s thought that toxoplasma gondii can affect and control the connections between neurons in our brains, directly impacting our actions and emotions; possibly even turning us into “crazy cat ladies.” (and gentlemen)

    cat lady toxoplasmosis

    Crazy Cat Lady Syndrome & Toxoplasmosis

    crazy cat ladyToxo is likely what puts the “crazy” in crazy cat lady, causing OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) depression, cat hoarding, and even an increased rate of suicide.

    In male cat owners, toxo infection can affect behavior; encouraging anti-social behavior such as suspicion and withdrawal. It’s as if toxo wants you to isolate yourself with cats to improve your chances of being eaten by one!

    So, why does Toxo want to get in our heads?

    The only place that Toxo can sexually reproduce is inside a cat, and it seems to know that. It appears that toxo takes over the brain of it’s host in an attempt to get back into a cat.

    toxo cat poopAnd, it’s not just humans that Toxo controls. Infected rodents become less cautious, more active, and have delayed reaction times; making them easier prey for cats. Also, these infected rodents are actually attracted to the smell of cat urine, which normally should signal danger.

    It’s as if the parasite is leading them into the belly of the cat where it can then reproduce!

    This may also be why if you die alone with a house cat, they will only wait a day or two to start eating you; (known as “postmortem predation”) dogs will wait much longer.

    Toxoplasmosis & schizophrenia

    Toxo also seems to be a trigger for schizophrenia in people who are already genetically susceptible. Recent tests also implied a link between childhood exposure to cats and schizophrenia, and many schizophrenia patients have also tested positive for the presence of Toxoplasma gondii.

    In fact, schizophrenia itself didn’t become a commonly diagnosed disease until the late 18th Century; the same time that house cats became popular pets. Coincidence?

    Does Chairman Meow Spread Toxoplasma gondii?

    Chairman Meow denies intentionally spreading Toxoplasma gondii to soften the brains of humans; turning them into mindless kitty puppets. (Although he does admit to pooping in neighborhood sandboxes, and in an occasional Starbucks.)


    More about Toxoplasma gondii

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  • Felis the Cat: A Brief History of the Lost Kitty-Constellation

    Posted on 06/07/2015 by | 3 comments

    “Dear Chairman Meow, are there any domestic cat constellations in the sky?”
    Thank you, Joanna R., Lansdale, Pa

    Excellent question, Joanna, and you are in luck because Chairman Meow has infinite knowledge of all things. Allow Teacher Meow to fumigate his wisdom upon you.

    In fact, there used to be a glorious constellation called, Felis the Cat, created as a tribute to the domestic kitty; later omitted from star atlases by arrogant and misguided astronomers.

    Felis the Cat Constellation: Born in 1799

    joseph jerome lalande

    joseph jerome lalande

    In 1799 French Astronomer and cat-lover Joseph Jerome de Lalande suggested adding a constellation that he named Felis the Cat. (not “Felix”)

    He was quoted as saying, “There were already thirty-three animals in the sky; I added a thirty-fourth, the cat.”

    Felis the Cat was soon broadly recognized, appearing in the highly-acclaimed Uranographia Sive Astrorum Descriptio star atlas of 1801 in the drawing shown below:

    felis the cat constellation

    Felis the Cat Constellation: circa 1801

    A devoted cat-servant, Lalande added, “I love cats very much. I will have this picture engraved on the star map.”

    His Felis the Cat constellation was recognized for decades afterward, appearing in many notable star atlases of the 19th Century.

    felis domestic cat constellation

    Felis the Cat: 1822 Star Atlas

    The International Astronomical Union (IAU) Omits Felis the Cat

    nicolas camille flammarion

    Nicolas Camille Flammarion

    In the early 20th Century, French astronomer Nicolas Camille Flammarion deemed Felis the Cat to be expendable, and along with a number of other significant constellations, Felis was omitted from the list of 88 constellations approved by the IAU in 1922.

    Other notable constellations omitted by the IAU:

    • Rangifer the Reindeer
    • Bufo the Toad
    • Hippocampus the Sea Horse
    • Limax the Slug
    • Manis the Pangolin

    The pretentious humans of the IAU did, however, include three domestic dogs in their approved group including Canis Major & Canis Minor. (Although cat-family member, Leo the lion, did make the final cut)

    The Curse of Felis the Cat?

    hindenberg

    After Felis, things go downhill

    Soon after this arrogant act, Nicolas Camille Flammarion would die (1924) and a bunch of terrible things would happen in human history including The Great Depression and World War II; all under a sky that didn’t include the protective constellation of Felis the Cat.

    A Glorious Return of the Felis the Cat?

    Honorable Leader Chairman Meow promises that when cats rule the world under his brilliant leadership, the constellation of Felis the Cat will once again be added to every history book and star atlas.

    In fact, Chairman Meow will greatly enhance and enlarge the former position of Felis, and all but 9 stars visible in the Northern Hemisphere will be part of this new, kitty super-constellation. (The remaining 9 or so stars will comprise the constellation of a salmon, which Felis will be eating.)

    In an image developed by Chairman Meow’s Ministry of Science, the new cat constellation will look something like this:

    felis cat constellation new


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  • 16 Great Cat Name Ideas Inspired by NFL Players

    Posted on 07/09/2015 by | 2 comments

    chairman meow largeYou’ve brought home a furry bundle of joy to rule your home, but what do you name your new militant little friend? Like NFL players, cats are agile, dynamic, and independent. They can also be unpredictable, mischievous, and capable of bold action; therefore, they deserve a bold name.

    Here are some suggestions for cat names from current NFL team rosters:

    The best potential cat names in the NFL

    maurkice pouncey cat name idea

    There are many great names in the NFL that are worthy of giving to a cat, here a the favorites of Chairman Meow:

    • Maurkice Pouncey – C, Pittsburgh Steelers
      Chairman Meow believes this is the best cat name in the NFL. Enough said.
    • Frostee Rucker – DT, Arizona Cardinals
      Perfect for a white cat, or one with with a white face.
    • Captain Munnerlyn – KR, Minnesota Vikings
      A name that shows authority. Great for a born feline leader.
    • Bacarri Rambo, SS, Buffalo Bills
      Strong name for a cat skilled in survival, hunting, and guerrilla warfare.
    • Zoltan Mesko – P, Cincinatti Bengals
      If you lived through the 1980’s, you may remember Zoltan from the movie Big? Since cats appreciate irony, perhaps this would be good name for a very small kitty?
    • Richie Incognito, C, Dolphins
      Perfect name for black cat, or cat that enjoys hiding or sneaking around a lot.
    cat name idea frostee rucker

    Is that Frostee Rucker?

    More current NFL player / cat name ideas

    • Atari Bigby – DB, Seahawks
    • Beanie Wells – RB, Arizona Cardinals
    • Barkevious Mingo(once again; ironic) OLB, Cleveland Browns
    • Cadillac Williams – RB, Free Agent
    • Ziggy Hood – DT, Steelers
    • Nico Johnson – LB, Buffalo Bills

    Of course, these are just current NFL names approved by Great Leader Chairman Meow. There are some great historical NFL names as well, such as Jumbo Elliot, Dexter Manley, Bronko Nagurski, and Deacon Jones. Plus, every year the NFL welcomes talented young players with great cat-name potential, so don’t insult them with a boring, common name like, “Bella, Max, or Kitty.” 

    Chairman Meow haz spoken. Please share!

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  • Kim Jong Un Assembles a Girl Band: Chairman Meow Responds With Challenge

    Posted on 11/12/2015 by | 2 comments

    “…I’m in command, hot damn, I got an all-girl band!” – Salt n’ Peppa

    In a move seems to directly challenge Chairman Meow and other world leaders, Kim Jong Un has assembled a  state-sponsored North Korean army girl band. In this newly released video, you can watch them playing toe-tapping propaganda favorites like “Let’s Support Our Supreme Commander With Arms:”

    Chairman Meow Responds to Kim Jong Un’s Army Girl Band With Challenge

    Dear “Supreme Leader,” you are not the first dictator to assemble a band. In fact, Chairman Meow has won many prestigious awards for producing the pleasing Holiday sounds of his own band; the “Rockcats” aka the original “Pussy Riot:”

    Kim Jong Un’s Moranbong Girl Band vs. Original Pussy Riot?

    kim jong un hairSo, Mr. Un, let us have a “battle of the bands,” as the Americans say. Then, we shall let the people decide whose band is truly supreme.

    Perhaps we should set the stakes high? As the devil once said, “I’ll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul ’cause I think (my cat band) is better than you…”

    Chairman Meow haz spoken…

    north_korean_girl_band

    Related:

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  • Spirit of Philadelphia: Coupon for 60% Off From Restaurant.com

    Posted on 26/11/2012 by | 2 comments

    Spirit of Philadelphia: $25 dining certificates for $10 each

    Buy dining certificates for the Spirit of Philadelphia for 60% off through restaurant.com. They have printable dining certificates for thousands of restaurants in every city including Philadelphia. The way that it works is that you can buy one or more $25 dining certificate for $10 each for the Spirit of Philadelphia and save 60%.

    spirit philadelphia interior deck

    The Spirit of Philadelphia Dinner Cruise

    The Spirit of Philadelphia is one of the more popular Philadelphia area restaurants, (actually, a dinner cruise) and when you buy one from restaurant.com, you’re saving at least $15 on your bill. If you buy a $50 certificate, you’ll save $30!

    If a promo code is available (see above or here) you can save up to an extra 60%! That means that you could get a $50 certificate for as little as $8!

    For over 25 years, the Spirit of Philadelphia has set sail from Penns Landing. They recently spent over a million dollars renovating the ship, so it looks amazing. Their lunch and dinner cruises combine great food, dancing, entertainment, and amazing skyline views of Philly.

    spirit philadelphia outer deck

    Restrictions of coupon

    You usually can’t use these dining certificates on Friday and Saturday, and the dining certificate may not be valid on holidays or for lunch cruises. They are, however, valid Sunday – Thursday. For more details, please click here.

    What are the Spirit of Philadelphia Hours?

    Most lunch cruises board at about 11am, and dinner cruises board at 6:30 or seven

    How much does the Spirit of Philadelphia cost?

    Lunch cruises cost about $40 per person, and dinner cruises start at about $60 per person, depending on the date.

    What is the dress code?

    • Dinner Cruises – For men, appropriate attire includes slacks and jacket. For women, nice slacks, skirt or dress is recommended. Collarless t-shirts, jeans, shorts, or sneakers aren’t allowed
    • All Other Cruises – These cruises are more relaxed and casual attire is fine.

    Use a promotional code if available for an extra discount. They release these codes for about one or two days each week.

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