Chairman Meow Speaks

  • How to Recognize an Atomic Bomb: Safety Tips from Chairman Meow

    Posted on 20/11/2014 by | 0 comments

    Great Teacher Chairman Meow receives many good questions from the interwebs, such as the following: Dear Glorious Leader, Something has landed in my yard, and it may be an atomic bomb. It is approximately 20 feet long, weighs 5 tons, and it is too wide to wrap my arms around. Could this be an atomic

  • Russia Releases Shocking Photo of Advanced Kitty Weaponry

    Posted on 20/11/2014 by | 0 comments

    European leaders are scrambling today after Vladimir Putin released a photo showing that Russia has obtained advanced kitty military capacity. (AKMC) Sources say that this provocative move is merely the latest effort by Mr. Putin to reclaim the “lost glories” of the Soviet Union. Strategic resources? Critics warn that Mr. Putin may be planning an

  • Grimalkin: The Mysterious Cat of Nostradamus and Shakespeare

    Posted on 19/11/2014 by | 0 comments

    You probably know that Nostradamus was a 16th century French prophet and seer, but did you know that he had a mysterious cat named Grimalkin? So, why is Nostradamus’ cat Grimalkin mysterious, you ask? Consider this: During the Renaissance it was believed that Satan sent malicious spirits to help witches carry out their work. These spirits

  • The Subtle Differences Between Cats, Possums, & Vladimir Putin

    Posted on 19/11/2014 by | 0 comments

    Chairman Meow Says: Apparently there haz been some confusion lately as to what is a kitty, and what is not a kitty. Perhaps this is due in part to a recent Fox News segment entitled, “Possums: Are They Just Liberal Cats Trying to Take Your Guns Away?” In any event, Please allow Great Teacher Chairman Meow to clear

  • Walgreens Photo: Bold Use of Holiday Stock Photography

    Posted on 19/11/2014 by | 0 comments

    Walgreens Photo: Getting careless with the stock photos? – Nobody likes stock photography. Most of the time, working with it as a designer is about as exciting and inspiring as applying hemorrhoid cream. However, if you find yourself creating a brochure for a new Senior center or a website about erectile dysfunction, you might have

  • Chairman Meow Denounces Baby Bunnies; Accuses Easter Bunny of Spying

    Posted on 06/11/2014 by | 0 comments

    In a shocking statement released today, Chairman Meow labeled baby bunnies as, “suspicious and potentially dangerous,” and also accused them of being part of, “the liberal elite.” “If you see such a bunny, Chairman Meow asks you to avert your eyes, or try to run bunny over with bicycle.” It is not known whether the

  • Chairman Meow Challenges Kim Jong Il to Golf Match

    Posted on 02/11/2014 by | 0 comments

    Glorious Leader Chairman Meow is always looking for phenomenal athletes, fighters, and brilliant minds to test his superior skills against. According to reports from the official North Korean goverment media, Kim Jong Il is the greatest golfer to ever play in the history of the sport. Kim Jong Il Shoots a 38 Under Par Official

  • Secret to Apple’s Success? Santa’s Little (Chinese) Elves!

    Posted on 01/11/2014 by | 0 comments

    First of all, Chairman Meow would like to congratulate Apple on their latest earnings this quarter. Your company is now even bigger than other much respected American company, Exxon! However, after listening to earnings conference, Chairman Meow realize what Apple’s secret is: Apple uses elves to make their toys at Asian North Pole! (Called, Foxconn)

  • Mark Zuckerberg Stole Facebook Idea from Chairman Meow

    Posted on 01/11/2014 by | 0 comments

    Chairman Meow, believing that his idea for The Facebook, “has been stolen by Mark Zuckerberg,” has retained the services of an elite legal team. (see below) Proof that Mark Zuckerberg stole the kitty’s Facebook Idea All cats know that books are an excellent place to rest your face. As you can see below, the kitty had the

  • Cats Were Wrongly Blamed for the Black Plague in Europe – Oops

    Posted on 31/10/2014 by | 1 comment

    This week’s news included a headline reporting that Southern Baptist Seminary President Albert Mohler issued a warning to Christians labeling yoga a “dangerous risk” as well as the story of how a church’s right to protest at military funerals is being heard by the supreme court. Perhaps because Halloween is around the corner, I am