Chairman Meow Speaks

  • Chairman Meow Promises to Send Cat to Mars: Commissions T-Shirt Design

    Posted on 09/30/2015 by | 0 comments

    Upon hearing that there is water on Mars, Great Leader Chairman Meow has quickly promised to send a cat there to search for fishes, issuing the following statement: “Since the Soviets sent a dog to space, we have been waiting for a good reason to respond by launching a kitteh into orbit. We haz waited

  • Kim Jong-Un Warns Cats: I Haz a Giant Space-Laser Pointer

    Posted on 09/16/2015 by | 1 comment

    AP: Kim Jong Un Threatens Cats With Giant Space-Laser – In what appears to be retaliation after a recent alliance between Lenin Cat and Chairman Meow, North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un warned that he has obtained a “giant space-laser,” saying: “The kitteh can not resist the laser beam. I have personally instructed my scientists to

  • Lenin Cat Professes Allegiance to Chairman Meow; Insults Kim Jong-Un

    Posted on 09/16/2015 by | 1 comment

    AP: Lenin Cat Declares Fondness for Chairman Meow Tensions with North Korea were strained further today, as Lenin Cat declared his allegiance to Chairman Meow, potentially shifting the balance of global power and unsettling already volatile financial markets. Many see Lenin Cat’s declaration of support for Chairman Meow as an insult to Communist North Korean

  • Yoda Cat Costumes for The Kitty: Cats Are Small & Wise Like Yoda

    Posted on 09/09/2015 by | 0 comments

    Dress Your Own Wise Cat As Yoda w/ a Yoda Cat Costume and Ears Chairman Meow Says: How many times have you sat around the house saying, “My kitteh iz so wise… I should dress him like Yoda.” Well, because of recent advances in technology known as the “the inter-webs.” now you can: Star Wars

  • 16 Great Cat Name Ideas Inspired by NFL Players

    Posted on 09/07/2015 by | 1 comment

    You’ve brought home a furry bundle of joy to rule your home, but what do you name your new militant little friend? Like NFL players, cats are agile, dynamic, and independent. They can also be unpredictable, mischievous, and capable of bold action; therefore, they deserve a bold name. Here are some suggestions for cat names

  • Felis the Cat: A Brief History of the Lost Kitty-Constellation

    Posted on 07/06/2015 by | 3 comments

    “Dear Chairman Meow, are there any domestic cat constellations in the sky?” Thank you, Joanna R., Lansdale, Pa Excellent question, Joanna, and you are in luck because Chairman Meow has infinite knowledge of all things. Allow Teacher Meow to fumigate his wisdom upon you. In fact, there used to be a glorious constellation called, Felis

  • Russia Releases Shocking Photo of Advanced Kitty Weaponry

    Posted on 06/15/2015 by | 0 comments

    European leaders are scrambling today after Vladimir Putin released a photo showing that Russia has obtained advanced kitty military capacity. (AKMC) Sources say that this provocative move is merely the latest effort by Mr. Putin to reclaim the “lost glories” of the Soviet Union. Strategic resources? U.S. intelligence warns that Mr. Putin may be planning

  • Working From Home? Eliminate Distractions w/ This Brilliant Invention

    Posted on 06/12/2015 by | 0 comments

    “The Isolator” Invention by Hugo Gernsback – Working from home has a lot of challenges. The phone rings, the kids barge into my office, the dog pulls things off my shelves and scatters them… What’s a self-employed person, writer, or entrepreneur to do? Well, apparently Hugo Gernsback had the same issue in 1925, and instead

  • Mr. Meowgi: Lolcats From Chairman Meow

    Posted on 06/03/2015 by | 0 comments

    In Okinawa… too tired… No, is not “meow-so” soup in trendy Chinese restaurant. Mister Meowgi is just taking power-nap before catching more flies with chopsticks to sharpen ninja-like reflexes. Recommended coupons: We update our exclusive coupons everyday. Check out these promo codes for free shipping or other great discounts: Famous Footwear Coupons | PETCO Coupon

  • Taylor Swift & Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe) Play “Smelly Cat” On Stage in LA

    Posted on 05/28/2015 by | 0 comments

    You know, many people would think that Chairman Meow would be offended by the song, “Smelly Cat,” but I see it as a ballad for the destitute and forgotten kitteh. These are the kittehs that will one day rise one day out of the shadows, running their retractable claws down the legs of their oppressors.

  • Chairman Meow Outsources Surveillance Program to China

    Posted on 05/21/2015 by | 0 comments

    New Spying Program Will Save Money & Resources – After realizing that humans are “mostly boring” to spy on, Chairman Meow has announced that he will be outsourcing his surveillance program overseas to a Chinese organization: A spokesperson for Chairman Meow added that the cheap canine-labor will conserve resources for The Revolution; allowing the kitteh